I ran across this somewhere and since I just turned almost 50 I got a few chuckles out of it.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING “MARVELOUSLY MATURE” WHEN . . .

• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

• The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

• You look for your glasses for half an hour and find they were on your head the whole time.

• You hear “snap, crackle, pop” when you sit down to breakfast, and you're not eating cereal.

• You remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.

• You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

• You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

• Your back goes out, and you stay home.

• Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

• Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either.

• You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.

• Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

• You start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

• Half the stuff in your shopping cart says, “For fast relief.”

• You stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

• A rocking chair gives you the same sensation you once got from a roller coaster.

• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

• A group of campers form a circle and sing “Kumbaya” when you light the candles on your birthday cake.

peace